I'm not ready to tell anyone
by HermyCaz
Summary: A story about the Marauders, and how Remus struggles with his condition and how to tell his friends- was liked on another website and I want to know how it does here...I'm bad at summeries. xD
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Obviously these characters are not mine****…****FanFiction is for fans xD So yeah****…****all to JK!**

**This starts at 2****nd**** Year****…****although I am thinking of writing a 1****st**** Year if this goes down well****…**

**A lot of people liked it on my other site****…****so lets see how it goes here :D**

**Here it it****'****s****…****.It****'****s old****…****about a year****…****so ignore all my mistakes****…****or let me know them so I can improve****…****(this one needs a lot of improvement since it****'****s a year old xD)**

Remus John Lupin never thought that he would ever find friends at Hogwarts. Because of his condition of being a werewolf since he was four, he never had any friends, or anyone to talk to. He was always alone, considered the 'abnormal child' since he was never with anyone, never with any friends. When Remus was younger, people asked him about his scars, and he, of course, answered truthfully, not knowing that a werewolf was anything to be feared of.

However, at the start of his first year, he made three of the best friends he would ever imagine having.

James Potter and Sirius Black had met on the train and become fast friends, and when Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew joined them in Gryffindor, they immediately began talking. It felt like Remus had known these people all his life; they had connected with each other right from the start. He knew they would stay friends forever. Remus had always thought when he met James, Sirius and Peter, that he would tell them about his _Lycanthropy. _But he decided against the idea, because he thought it would only turn them away, they would be scared of him, not want to be friends with him. He would then be alone again.

Remus would never be able to cope with it, if his only three friends were to turn against him.

Being a werewolf; the after effects stayed with Remus all his life. He had three small scars across his face, his arms and hands were badly scarred also, he was grateful that he would be able to cover his arms with his cloak, hoping no one would suspect anything.

*******

Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were all in their second year at Hogwarts. They were currently in Transfiguration class, trying to change their textbooks into doves. James was able to do it at once, with saying the incantation 'Doveterius' and a wave of his wand. The book immediately turned into a dove and began fluttering around the classroom.

"How can you always do it so well?" asked Peter, amazed.

"Well, you see Peter," said James laughing, "I'm cleverer than you"

Peter did not laugh, but just gave James a self-satisfied smile and picked up his own wand. "Doveterius" he whispered. His book, however, did not turn into a wonderful pure white dove, as James' had; the sides of the book merely grew tiny wings, and as it tried to fly, it just fell to the table with a thud, feathers flying everywhere. James laughed loudly.

"Mr. Potter! What are you laughing at?" shouted Professor McGonagall, from her desk at the front of the class.

"Nothing, Professor" James answered, still trying to hold his laughter as he watched Peter's Transfiguration book try to get up and fly once more.

"Also, Mr. Pettigrew, if you were to pay more attention to your own work, you may be able to transfigure correctly" McGonagall said, and with a wave of her wand, she turned Peter's book, upside down and still trying to fly, back to its original state.

Remus and Sirius were sitting opposite James and Peter on the other side of the class. Sirius also was able to transform his book into a perfect dove; it flew around the class, making twittering noises as it went. "Remus" Sirius turned around, and his friend was staring out of the window, looking worried. Remus knew it was going to be a full moon tonight. His scarred face was pale and he looked ill.

"Remus, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Remus, turning to face Sirius and smiling; he picked up his wand, his hand shaking as he held it tightly.

"Are you sure?" asked Sirius, not fully convinced that his friend was okay. Remus did not answer, only smiled back again, although this smile was just as convincing as the last; Sirius could not miss the worried look in his friend's had finally finished, and the class ran out into the grounds, happy that the time for Lunch had finally come. James would have Quidditch practice afterwards. Sirius, Peter and Remus were going to watch him, since they had no more lessons for the rest of the day. Sirius walked behind James and Peter as they stepped out of the classroom, both unaware that he was even there.

"Hey!" he shouted.

Peter squealed, "Do you always have to do that?"

Sirius laughed at him, "Everything scares you Peter," he answered. "Come on" Jumping in front of them, he walked towards the tree near the lake, where they always sat together.

"Where's Remus?" asked James as they approached the lake.

"He was right behind me" Sirius answered, "Or I thought he was"

"He'll know where we are, come on" said James

Peter ran towards the tree, and sat down on the grass under the shade, James followed him, but didn't notice that Peter had actually lay flat on his front on the grass; and tripped over him. It was now Peter's turn to laugh. He rolled around on the grass laughing loudly, until James hit him with his wand.

"Shut it!" He shouted, but could not help from laugh walked slowly, not completely following James and Peter, for he had noticed that Remus was sitting alone under a tree, on the other end of the lake. His Transfiguration book was placed in front of him, with his wand in his hand, Remus said quietly "Doveterius" Nothing happened. He threw his wand down in frustration and closed his eyes as they filled with tears. "Maybe I should tell them?" he thought to himself. Even though he had friends like Sirius, James and Peter, he felt alone. He did not want to talk to anyone, not let anyone know about him being a Werewolf. His thoughts were lost, as someone called behind him.

"Remus?" There was Sirius' voice again, "What was wrong in Transfiguration, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Replied Remus, back turned to Sirius, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his cloak.

"But, you looked a bit worried back there –," Sirius's voice sounded anxious.

"I'm fine Sirius! Okay?" Remus shouted. He turned around; Sirius stared at him, looking concerned. Remus's bright amber eyes suddenly filled with tears again, he closed them, not wanting Sirius to see him cry, but the tears fell slowly down his face. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder, "Y'know you can tell us anything," he said. Suddenly and without warning, Remus put his arms around Sirius in a tight friendly hug. Sirius returned the hug, rubbing his hand on Remus's back in comfort, as Remus cried quietly.

"I'm here for you, mate," Sirius whispered.

"I'm just not ready for anyone to know yet," Remus said quietly as he pulled away. Bending down and picking up his textbook and wand, he added, "I have to practice, I'm going to the library"

"Come with us and watch James at Quidditch," Sirius said. "You can do that afterwards, we can practice together"

"No, I'm fine. I'll see you later"

Remus turned to go, but Sirius grabbed his arm, "If ever you want to talk, we'll be here, okay?" Remus looked around to face Sirius, nodded slowly and just smiled, it was a sad smile, and Sirius could tell. Without another word, Remus ran up to the school, towards the library, tears still falling down his went over to James and Peter; they were both sitting under the tree laughing.

"What are you two laughing about?"

"Peter just tried to hex me!" Said James, "But hexed himself instead"

"It wasn't funny!" Said Peter, rubbing black marks off his face, where the hex had laughed.

"He called me stupid!" Shouted Peter, "Just because I couldn't transfigure my book"

James ignored Peter, "What's wrong with Remus, where is he?" He asked Sirius.

"He is a bit upset about something, he wouldn't tell me. He has gone to practice Transfiguration in the library." Sirius replied.

"Oh! We'll be late for practice," Said James suddenly, checking his watch. He got up and ran towards the Quidditch field, Sirius and Peter following him.

Arriving at the Quidditch pitch, James changed into his Quidditch robes, while Peter and Sirius watched the rest of the team. Just as James came out with his broom, all the girls screamed and cheered. He kicked off from the ground and started flying a lap around the pitch with the little tiny Snitch was flying around the pitch, glistening in the sun. James headed straight for it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: As before…blah blah blah xD**

Arriving at the library; determined to prefect the 'Doveterius' spell, Remus noticed that it was not empty as he had wished it to be. Lily Evans was sitting at a table with Severus Snape, he noticed that they were writing a potions essay, as they both had their copy of 'Potion-Making for Beginners', open on the table. Lily's bright red hair was sleek and straight, and it reached the bottom of her back."Sev?" She asked, "Can you help me" She was blushing as she handed her essay over to took the paper from her; he pushed his black hair from his eyes and laughed as he read her essay.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You can't mix this with this," he said, pointing to the ingredients she had written down, "They'd explode"

"Well, make it right then" she said giggling."I'm not doing for you" he handed the essay back to her. She reluctantly took the essay, and began scribbling down on her page once walked in quietly, not wanting to disturb them, but Lily noticed him, she waved, smiling at him and gestured for him to come over. Remus hesitated, but walked over and sat down at the table, facing opposite her. He looked into her emerald green eyes, and she smiled at him.

"Are you okay?"She asked.

"Fine" Remus replied, smiling, it was a happier smile this time, and Lily did not noticed that he was worried. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine" she answered, "I just can't get the hang of this essay, plus Slughorn is giving us a lot of homework this year"

Professor Slughorn was their potions teacher, and had given the class so much homework over the last few days, that Lily and Severus were spending hours at a time in the library.

"I thought you were good at Potions?" Remus said, "You were always getting it right last year, when we had lessons together"

Lily blushed again, "Not always" She said, "Besides, it's harder this year."

Remus smiled at her as he opened his transfiguration book and took out his wand. "Doveterius", he said quietly. Nothing happened. "I've had enough of this!" he said angrily, "what am I doing wrong?"

"Be softer with your wand, don't flick it up so hard", Severus spoke suddenly. "Like this, 'Doveterius'" With a gentle wave and flick of his wand, the book turned instantaneously into a snow-white dove. Remus imitated Severus with a soft flick of his own wand, and the book did, indeed turn into a dove.

"Thanks"

"Anytime" Severus picked up his book, wand and quill, "Time for me to go I think" he added.

Lily got up too, "Yeah, I'm getting tired of this essay; I'll finish tomorrow" she said, "Coming, Remus?"

"No" he answered, "I think I'll practice some more, thanks"

Lily smiled; "Okay" she walked to the door with Severus, as she approached she turned and waved to Remus. He waved back, and he smiled to himself as he saw her skip out the door and turn down the corridor, Severus following her.

After about another hour, Remus has finally perfected the spell. "Doveterius" he whispered one last time. The book twisted into a dove and began fluttering around the quiet, deserted library. He looked out of the window, it was getting slightly dark, and he would have to head off for the hospital wing now, so Madam Pomfrey could accompany him down to the Whomping Willow, where the entrance of the Shrieking Shack was; he was to stay here for his left the library, and as he turned the corridor, he bumped into Professor Dumbledore, his long hair and beard pure-white, and his cloak looking almost as if it was floating as he walked.

"Oh, I'm sorry Professor" Remus said.

"No matter" said Dumbledore, waving away his apology. "Why are you out so late, Mr Lupin?" he thought it was strange to be called by his surname, but didn't say anything.

"I..erm..I was just…going to the…"

"..hospital wing?" Dumbledore finished for nodded. "Let us walk together"

They both walked side by side, Remus walked with his head down, not saying anything. "Is something the matter, Remus?" Dumbledore asked.

Remus shook his head, his eyes filling with tears.

"Something is bothering you"

"..ermm…I, I'm fine" Remus replied, stopped suddenly, Remus stopped beside him, head still down, not wanting Dumbledore to see his face. However, Dumbledore put his hand on Remus' shoulder; Remus looked up, tears falling down his face once again.

"I think it is about time you confide in your friends, Remus. They are worried about you-"

"I don't….they won't…"

"Want to be friends with you; because you are-"

"A werewolf"

"Merely different" said Dumbledore, "However, your friends' are extremely worried about you, I'm sure they won't think any less of you, if you tell them. You are their friend, Remus."

"I lied" Remus replied, "I lied to them"

"They will understand" Dumbledore smiled at him, Remus smiled back walked the remainder distance to the hospital wing in silence, with Dumbledore stopping at the door. "Here you are," he said quietly, opening the door and letting Remus inside.

"Thanks, Professor"


End file.
